Big Love illustration

Big Love, Big Life.

Open your heart!

Interacting with others, being stuck in traffic, losing games, being worried or upset— these are all great opportunities to challenge our ability to love and feel loved.
There is a great mystery happening from the moment we are born until our death that gives us the ability to love, from an unconditional source.

I believe that our ultimate challenge in life is to keep our heart open in any circumstance.

 

Some popular beliefs prevents us from fully opening our heart because we are afraid to be hurt.

When we open our heart we become vulnerable and find ourselves at the mercy of others; and now exposed to pain, we start building resentment against the pain that is associated to the opening of our hearts.

On the other side, we tend to feel very alive and happy when we are surrounded by beauty and comfort, that is then reinforced by building attachment towards the delicious treats in life.

To me, being wholehearted is a state of being emotionally available in way that allows us to feel pain and beauty simultaneously, thus receiving love and life at its fullest potential.

It doesn’t mean we must tolerate pain, it doesn’t mean we must not take action, it simply means to be nonjudgmental of what the reality is, to appreciate every single action, feeling, sensation and thought without discrimination, receiving it with kindness and gratitude to move forward.

Contradictory to popular beliefs, opening our heart during challenges and stress doesn’t mean to let ourself go and be beat up by the environment.

It simply means that you are aware of a more powerful force in existence, taking great care of all of the living forms, and being deeply connected to it, it is like having faith in life’s impermanence, unfolding exactly as it should be, in every passing moment.

My belief is that if I keep my heart open in any circumstances, pain, trauma, frustration, fear and worry, this dark cloud will eventually pass and I will still feel whole and complete once it is over.

The problem is that when traumatic pain shows up, we immediately shut down and contract to protect ourselves against it.

Protecting ourselves is okay, it is healthy.

 

The potential problem is that by doing so, we can unconsciously create resentment against the stress that may arise, which is what really keeps us away from being fully alive and wholehearted. It drains energy from us and makes us feel weaker and weaker as challenges appear. Creating this belief for myself was not easy and it is a never-ending life changing process.
I suffered a lot in my life, and for what most often appeared to be for no reason.

« I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened ». Mark twain.

I’ve created imaginary suffering for myself out of worry, fear, negativity, depression, lack of trust, and other dis-eases when being stressed and facing challenges. Worrying about my finances, relationships, afraid to show who I really am.

As an example, when I meet new people, new environments, when I change career or live a passionate relationship with someone, I found myself experiencing -along with the pleasant, these kinds of suffering—you may have or not experienced this to.

I created imaginary suffering out of worry, fear, negativity, depression, lack of trust, etc….

I remember spending years in a « part-time » depression state after my very first and most powerful heartbreak.

I was deeply in love with a woman, I saw life through pink color glasses and it seemed « amazing », until after only two weeks of powerful love she phone called me to express her intention to stop seeing each other intimately.

I was shocked and hurt, I couldn’t believe it, I couldn’t believe that it was happening.

In my mind, my life was a great success; I succeeded at school, my finances, in sports, in family… but not in love, It was probably my very first big failure in life.

That experience changed me. I started a depression phase that dragged on for years…
I remember that time as if I was not really alive, I appear to be fine, but I was not.

My heart was closed and broken on the inside. The sad part is that I would not allow anyone to really see the damages made to my heart— including myself— I felt too sensitive and scared to acknowledge its condition.

It felt like having a painful open wound that needed stitches, and it was so intense that I was almost too scared to go through any kind of « surgery ».
It was not until years later – of traveling and shared experiences – that I finally met a person that I got close enough to, a person willing to see my open heart. This person didn’t do anything, per se, but the unconditional love I felt was like a safe and sacred space that allowed me to move forward with the surgery— which was very much needed.

So I took the initiative.

 

I dove back into this metaphorical wound, to kindly remove the fictive layers of protection created over the years. I removed the psychological, emotional, physical and spiritual layers. It happen like this: I had to visualize the reason why she (my romanced lover) probably got scare of me and decided to stop our relationship.

With all my heart power available I shifted perspective to express empathy for her decision and fully understand the circumstances, rather than reacting to the pain of being hurt.

By doing so, I internally visioned a bright white light coming from the center of my heart, surrounding it as the ultimate healing ointment. That was so transformative that a cry for a couple minutes, my friend holding me at the same time.

Radical honesty with myself was the key. This basic action lead to me being able to seal and heal my broken heart. It felt like I healed the wound by channeling unconditional love, in the space of only a couple minutes.

It was amazing, it felt like I was able to breathe again.

 

Since then, I never felt my heart break again, I faced many traumas and challenges yet my heart remains open and whole.

I am eternally grateful for that person and her beautiful gift of unconditional love.

I now live with the belief that the current of life is first filtered by the lens of love, through the heart. The more I can love and open my heart, the more alive I feel.

Since then my life has been pretty vibrant. I found my soulmate. I had the career experiences that I had dreamt of, I reached greater fulfillment and I even discovered my higher calling in life: my path to serve humanity.
This is now my job.

I am a coach, Healer, Lover, Artist and I hope to help as many lives as possible in my existence. To heal from our wounds and feel complete, wholehearted, again.
It doesn’t mean the end of suffering, it only means more connectedness to the true power, the power from the heart.

Reinforcing my faith in this power every passing breath, bringing awareness and relaxation to it.

This is my recipe to live a long, happy and meaningful life. Big love, big life.
Wishing you to love infinitely and live eternally.
Peace and Love,

Thomas

 

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